Match Report - 25/04/01

Dutchy's Wink vs. Cants

And so it was decreed that after five weeks of grading, the mighty Dutchy's Winks cricket team was to be moved up a grade, or at least that's what we thought anyway. On turning up at the splendid "Canningvale" Multisports centre last night, it was noticed that we had not been moved up into the first division as we had been informed, but were in fact on top of the second division with a triumphant 5 wins from five games at an even more trumphant percentage of 178.5. The plot thickened... Although we had been left in our old division, despite the good people at "Canningvale" telling us otherwise, we had still been given a fixture against a first division side. (Go figure?)

Anyway, we were set to play the Cants. So without as much as a whisper about the fact that this was obviously a cunning conspiracy put together by those that would like to end our beautiful unbeaten streak thus far this season, we played the Cants. (I tell ya! If it wasn't for those meddling kids!) Due to a recent bout of Minge-my-cockel, our illustrious captain Brendan Holland could not play. We were also short the services of our wicket-keeper, Mr Steven Patrick Scally, who had reputedly sprained his duodendum in a game of tiddlywinks the night before. Get well soon champ!

To the game! Our acting captain observed the toss and all I know is that we ended up batting first. Whether this was by choice or not I do not know, mainly due to my concentration span being about the same as that of your average goldfish. But either way, batting first was a truly magnificent occurrence. Well done, Acting Captain Bruce.

In to bat first where Marvellous Matty D and Davo... Marvellous once again came out a batted with the style and grace befitting someone with style and grace, and Davo... Well do you remember that famous ball Shane Warne bowled to Mike Gatting with the last ball on the 4th day of the Lords test match back in 1991? Well, Davo pretty much played every shot like he was try to emulate good old Mikey on that day us Englishmen would rather forget. Marvellous and Davo scored a well deserved 17. (Davo, you know I think you're the coolest!)

Anyway next to bat came Carl "The Postal worker" Doohan and the mighty Iron Jay Cutler, weighing in allegedly at well over 300 pounds. Anyway, Jay and Carl were in good form with some classic stroke play on both parts, which took their individual score to 30, putting the team on 47 runs at the half way mark.

Next in were Robbo and Bruce. Both toiled hard but were not rewarded for some fine batting against even better bowling, and after there 4 overs had only managed to make 8 runs. There's always next week. TThe score was now at 55.

Mark "Freakshow" Myers and our fill in for the night, Bori (you know that guy too... That fucking guy!), strode out to face the fury of the final 4 overs. Bori, although a little out of touch due mainly to that fact the he had already played one game of cricket that night, provided a good supporting role to the Freakshow, who was in fine form belting the ball in true Freakshow style. They amassed a mighty 35 runs, and thus we had
set the Cants the not overly imposing but still defendable total of 88 runs.

We fielded well and bowled well, but when it came down to it, we just didn't take the ones that counted and ended up surrendering our score to a good batting outfit in the 14th over. We ended up losing 106 to 88.

Good effort boys. Better luck next week! Bring on 2nd divi! At the end of the day, when you break it all down, I've said it before and I'll say it again...It's all good!!!


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